Tiger: Faaaaarrrk...
Monkey: What? What?!
Tiger: I friggin lost it!
Monkey: Amen...
Tiger: No, my motivation, you fat free popsicle!
Monkey: Did you check all of your body's cavities?
Tiger: All except uranus, smartass...
Monkey: Meh...
Tiger: I was listening to all these other alpha males going on and on about their own ones and I totally lost my own. It's like it got scared and ran off with my balls.
Monkey: Man, you're an idiot. You're not supposed to project other peoples motivations onto your own darn balls, they're holy ground see...
Tiger: Well, I've really done it this time.
Monkey: Ah, it's ok. If I had a cent for every time I've put my own ones in harms way, hell I'd have a dollar by now!
Tiger: If you're gonna lie, do it with some extra spice. A dollar, pff...
Monkey: Don't you blow your nose at me mr soon-to-be-a-gay-pair-of-underpants.
Tiger: So how do I get it back again? I can barely get a hard-on in this state.
Monkey: Easy, you look downwards in the food chain. Get some perspective, get drunk, get laid, get a new pair of socks, you stink.
Tiger: Yeah! Will you join me on this quest of stinky horny drunkenness?
Monkey: Do balls come in pairs?
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
The theory of uncertainty
Tiger: Hey you!
Monkey: Well, hello there funny face!
Tiger: When you look at me, what do you see?
Monkey: My very best friend and partner in drunken disarray?
Tiger: And...
Monkey: Big pointy teeth and a cute nose?
Tiger: Go on...
Monkey: Fur and bones...
Tiger: Is there anything else you take particular notice of?
Monkey: You took a bath? You're wearing a new set of stripes? You finally came out?
Tiger: Well, that's 66.666666666(whatever)% true.
Monkey: Now I'm worried. Tell me, what should I be noticing?
Tiger: Well, I'm a tiger right?
Monkey: Right...
Tiger: But what is a tiger really?
Monkey: One of mother earths beautiful creatures, born to be a killer and drink beer.
Tiger: True, but what is a tiger REALLY? And why is it called a tiger?
Monkey: I don't see your point, please enlighten me, oh divine invention.
Tiger: I'm just contemplating on the absurdity of accepting a fact without certainty.
Monkey: Well, isn't a fact just something that people accept for true unless there is reason to doubt it?
Tiger: So you're saying that a fact is a possible lie or mistruth, since it doesn't have to be proven with certainty to be accepted?
Monkey: I'm just saying that a fact should be judged by it's source and with a bit of common sense at first. Why doubt everything you hear?
Tiger: But how do you know what sources to trust?
Monkey: By previous experiences.
Tiger: So how do you know if what you hear is the truth when you hear it from a source previously untested by you?
Monkey: That depends on which state of drunken delusion I'm in...
Tiger: I think it all starts in ourselves. We all carry some sense of knowledge that we can relate new facts to. All that stuff is based on stuff that we've seen first hand, or read about. It seems that stuff you read is easier to believe since it''s experienced as a neutral source most of the time. I think it's because we can hear ourselves reading it out loud in our heads and therefore it's easier to accept.
Monkey: Yeah, I'm always in my own little world when I read. It's all about me and myself...
Tiger: And Mac Gyver, he is the truth.
Monkey: Amen...
Monkey: Well, hello there funny face!
Tiger: When you look at me, what do you see?
Monkey: My very best friend and partner in drunken disarray?
Tiger: And...
Monkey: Big pointy teeth and a cute nose?
Tiger: Go on...
Monkey: Fur and bones...
Tiger: Is there anything else you take particular notice of?
Monkey: You took a bath? You're wearing a new set of stripes? You finally came out?
Tiger: Well, that's 66.666666666(whatever)% true.
Monkey: Now I'm worried. Tell me, what should I be noticing?
Tiger: Well, I'm a tiger right?
Monkey: Right...
Tiger: But what is a tiger really?
Monkey: One of mother earths beautiful creatures, born to be a killer and drink beer.
Tiger: True, but what is a tiger REALLY? And why is it called a tiger?
Monkey: I don't see your point, please enlighten me, oh divine invention.
Tiger: I'm just contemplating on the absurdity of accepting a fact without certainty.
Monkey: Well, isn't a fact just something that people accept for true unless there is reason to doubt it?
Tiger: So you're saying that a fact is a possible lie or mistruth, since it doesn't have to be proven with certainty to be accepted?
Monkey: I'm just saying that a fact should be judged by it's source and with a bit of common sense at first. Why doubt everything you hear?
Tiger: But how do you know what sources to trust?
Monkey: By previous experiences.
Tiger: So how do you know if what you hear is the truth when you hear it from a source previously untested by you?
Monkey: That depends on which state of drunken delusion I'm in...
Tiger: I think it all starts in ourselves. We all carry some sense of knowledge that we can relate new facts to. All that stuff is based on stuff that we've seen first hand, or read about. It seems that stuff you read is easier to believe since it''s experienced as a neutral source most of the time. I think it's because we can hear ourselves reading it out loud in our heads and therefore it's easier to accept.
Monkey: Yeah, I'm always in my own little world when I read. It's all about me and myself...
Tiger: And Mac Gyver, he is the truth.
Monkey: Amen...
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
References, yay or nay?
Tiger: Goooood evening Monkey!
Monkey: Hey old pal! What's cooking?
Tiger: Something struck me a couple of weekends ago, during a most delightful evening.
Monkey: Lightning or a revelation?
Tiger: The latter...
Monkey: Oh, how surprising. I wish you'd be less predictable every once in a while.
Tiger: Less predictable or dead?
Monkey: Ah, perhaps that was a bad example...
Tiger: Yes.
Monkey: Oh...
Tiger: So, I was enjoying a beer or two, and had to visit the facilities, so to speak.
I did my duty and was on my way to return to my seat when I suddenly got a peak at god's most inner thoughts and contemplations.
Why is it really that we never seem to be quite satisfied with what we have anymore? I remembered when I was a little tiger and could play with the same pieces of LEGO for days and weeks without ever thinking that there could be more to life than those little bits of plastic heaven.
I was blissfully ignorant, so to speak.
Monkey: LEGO is the devil, I heard Hitler played with it too. He used to blow his LEGO up with firecrackers when he wasn't busy building scale models of what would later be named concentration camps.
Tiger: Everyone has played with LEGO, and you're full of shit...
Monkey: I will have you know I never played with LEGO...
Tiger: Exactly
Monkey: Well, you smell bad.
Tiger: So, we've all been blissfully ignorant once, some stay that way too.
As blissfully ignorant, we don't really have any idea of what we "should" think about stuff and stuff. Everything is great until something bad happens.
The first warning signs with LEGO show up when you sneak around in the dark and one of those friggin things cuts your feet up something fierce.
That's the first moment in your life that you start doubting those pieces of endless joy.
Monkey: I had one stuck up my nose for three days.
Tiger: How did that happen?
Monkey: You put it there.
Tiger: Ah, the memories...
Monkey: That's why I tumble dried all your Barbie clothes.
Tiger: I never had any Barbie dolls.
Monkey: Exactly...
Tiger: Uhm, well... So when that first doubt has set roots in your mind the rest just comes like a spring flood.
The older you get, the more stuff says "no no no" in your head.
If I didn't have any references I would perhaps be happily married by now to whoever had come along since then and now.
But since that's not gonna happen, all I can do is roll with it until the list of no-no's is so full that it just becomes silly.
Then I'll be free again. Free to redo all the stuff that has been put on hold.
Or I could just not give a fuck and just do it now. But that's not really like the person who I made myself into.
I'm a picky fucker, I love control and I don't like a lot of stuff.
Monkey: Beer, you like beer?
Tiger: Beer is god and we are his mere servants. Put on earth to do his duty and make more beer and drink beer.
Monkey: Is god good?
Tiger: Not as good as the goddesses who walk among us disguised as ladies, the true rulers of men. I would gladly add more no-no's to my list just to keep them warm on a cold night.
I am but a tiger after all.
Monkey: Hey old pal! What's cooking?
Tiger: Something struck me a couple of weekends ago, during a most delightful evening.
Monkey: Lightning or a revelation?
Tiger: The latter...
Monkey: Oh, how surprising. I wish you'd be less predictable every once in a while.
Tiger: Less predictable or dead?
Monkey: Ah, perhaps that was a bad example...
Tiger: Yes.
Monkey: Oh...
Tiger: So, I was enjoying a beer or two, and had to visit the facilities, so to speak.
I did my duty and was on my way to return to my seat when I suddenly got a peak at god's most inner thoughts and contemplations.
Why is it really that we never seem to be quite satisfied with what we have anymore? I remembered when I was a little tiger and could play with the same pieces of LEGO for days and weeks without ever thinking that there could be more to life than those little bits of plastic heaven.
I was blissfully ignorant, so to speak.
Monkey: LEGO is the devil, I heard Hitler played with it too. He used to blow his LEGO up with firecrackers when he wasn't busy building scale models of what would later be named concentration camps.
Tiger: Everyone has played with LEGO, and you're full of shit...
Monkey: I will have you know I never played with LEGO...
Tiger: Exactly
Monkey: Well, you smell bad.
Tiger: So, we've all been blissfully ignorant once, some stay that way too.
As blissfully ignorant, we don't really have any idea of what we "should" think about stuff and stuff. Everything is great until something bad happens.
The first warning signs with LEGO show up when you sneak around in the dark and one of those friggin things cuts your feet up something fierce.
That's the first moment in your life that you start doubting those pieces of endless joy.
Monkey: I had one stuck up my nose for three days.
Tiger: How did that happen?
Monkey: You put it there.
Tiger: Ah, the memories...
Monkey: That's why I tumble dried all your Barbie clothes.
Tiger: I never had any Barbie dolls.
Monkey: Exactly...
Tiger: Uhm, well... So when that first doubt has set roots in your mind the rest just comes like a spring flood.
The older you get, the more stuff says "no no no" in your head.
If I didn't have any references I would perhaps be happily married by now to whoever had come along since then and now.
But since that's not gonna happen, all I can do is roll with it until the list of no-no's is so full that it just becomes silly.
Then I'll be free again. Free to redo all the stuff that has been put on hold.
Or I could just not give a fuck and just do it now. But that's not really like the person who I made myself into.
I'm a picky fucker, I love control and I don't like a lot of stuff.
Monkey: Beer, you like beer?
Tiger: Beer is god and we are his mere servants. Put on earth to do his duty and make more beer and drink beer.
Monkey: Is god good?
Tiger: Not as good as the goddesses who walk among us disguised as ladies, the true rulers of men. I would gladly add more no-no's to my list just to keep them warm on a cold night.
I am but a tiger after all.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Focus my heart, it's a struggle
Tiger: I thought I'd just share something with you all tonight.
Instead of the usual conversation I'd like to give you a text or a piece of poetry.
This one is something I just wrote for myself. If you ever feel a bit confused it's a good idea to put your thoughts in writing so you can go over them again and again until you understand yourself. This is my issue at the moment, I can't seem to give my dear old heart a bit of rest.
Little heart, little heart!
What have you done?
You've been running in circles for far too long.
Little heart, little heart!
What have you become?
You've been living and loving but all went wrong.
Little heart, little heart!
Why were you so dumb?
You've been trying too hard just to belong.
Little heart, little heart!
When did you go numb?
You were once so vibrant, you were once strong.
Little heart, little heart!
What will you do?
You must focus again, start singing your song.
Tiger: And this is about the point where "The Eye of the Tiger" starts banging in the background. Rising up, back on the street...
Ha ha, you know the rest people.
Rise up!
Good night and sleep tight!
Instead of the usual conversation I'd like to give you a text or a piece of poetry.
This one is something I just wrote for myself. If you ever feel a bit confused it's a good idea to put your thoughts in writing so you can go over them again and again until you understand yourself. This is my issue at the moment, I can't seem to give my dear old heart a bit of rest.
Little heart, little heart!
What have you done?
You've been running in circles for far too long.
Little heart, little heart!
What have you become?
You've been living and loving but all went wrong.
Little heart, little heart!
Why were you so dumb?
You've been trying too hard just to belong.
Little heart, little heart!
When did you go numb?
You were once so vibrant, you were once strong.
Little heart, little heart!
What will you do?
You must focus again, start singing your song.
Tiger: And this is about the point where "The Eye of the Tiger" starts banging in the background. Rising up, back on the street...
Ha ha, you know the rest people.
Rise up!
Good night and sleep tight!
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
The ever changing changes
Tiger: Well, didn't expect to see you again so soon.
Monkey: Yeah, same here, compadre.
Tiger: I suppose we both felt the need to write some bull-crap again huh?
Monkey: Yep, sure seems that way...
Tiger: Shall we?
Monkey: Lead the way captain...
Tiger: So, let's talk about changes, or the concept of changes.
Monkey: Ooh, that sounds like a mouthful.
Tiger: Well, it's as filling as you make it partner, just keep them words running and we'll be home safe.
Monkey: Hah, easy.
Tiger: So the basic concept of change is that it is a reaction to elements in the surroundings of the subject. A reaction that can take two paths of action and one path which is just no action at all. Since no action is no change it's just plain boring to talk about, so we'll stick to the action part.
Monkey: All those big words are making my head hurt, speak my language stripey...
Tiger: Ok, if stuff happens we do stuff about it, either positive stuff or negative stuff, ok?
Monkey: Aah, this I can totally connect with.
Tiger: So what decides what way you react?
Monkey: Wait! Wait, I know this one!
Uhm... How many beers you had?
Tiger: Not a bad answer, but what if you're completely sober then?
Monkey: Well, ehm...
Tiger: Experience.
Monkey: Oh...
Tiger: Stuff that happened before that we still remember and maybe learned from.
Monkey: Ah...
Tiger: It's like if a person tells you that your sweater is ugly, you might not listen and think they're totally stupid. But if six people say it, then you might start thinking about putting on another one next time.
Monkey: Well, I'd totally go bare instead then. You've seen my buff body.
Tiger: Eh, yes, buff...
Monkey: Hit me! Right here in the chest! Witness my manly power!
Tiger: So, let's move on shall we?
Monkey: Sissy...
Tiger: Some people can change and turn bad over night, like spaghetti in the fridge. They get all stiff and dry. Others can blossom, like a butterfly.
Monkey: You ARE a sissy... Ooh, look at me, I'm a pretty little butterfly, wee waa woo...
Tiger: Sit down before you get slapped boy...
Monkey: Sorry, your sissyness overwhelmed me for a moment there.
Tiger: Something I've also noticed is that positive change usually comes from our own initiative, negative from pressure or sudden substantial events that affect us. I think that we can all make our own decisions and stick with them. It's just our stubborn nature to do so.
Monkey: Unless we're a mongoloid albino gorilla that eat bananas through a straw and can't even remember to go poo poo...
Tiger: Thank you, I was just getting to that.
Monkey: No problemo el commandante...
Tiger: Right, so my point here was... What the hell was my point again?
Monkey: I don't know, I just hang around to make sure you make a fool of yourself.
Tiger: Right, that does it, I say whatever I want to say because I have some measure of self respect and I can back up any of my statements till the day I perish and the sky comes crashing down if I have to. I'll listen when you've got something constructive to tell me, monkey brains...
Monkey: Ha ha, you can say thanks later... I just pulled your point out of you.
Tiger: Aah, you sweet little thing you... Exactly...
Always stand your ground unless you know you're wrong.
Then get on your knees and admit you've got no idea what to do.
Monkey: That's honesty and righteousness for you right there baby...
Tiger: Bam!
Monkey: Yeah, same here, compadre.
Tiger: I suppose we both felt the need to write some bull-crap again huh?
Monkey: Yep, sure seems that way...
Tiger: Shall we?
Monkey: Lead the way captain...
Tiger: So, let's talk about changes, or the concept of changes.
Monkey: Ooh, that sounds like a mouthful.
Tiger: Well, it's as filling as you make it partner, just keep them words running and we'll be home safe.
Monkey: Hah, easy.
Tiger: So the basic concept of change is that it is a reaction to elements in the surroundings of the subject. A reaction that can take two paths of action and one path which is just no action at all. Since no action is no change it's just plain boring to talk about, so we'll stick to the action part.
Monkey: All those big words are making my head hurt, speak my language stripey...
Tiger: Ok, if stuff happens we do stuff about it, either positive stuff or negative stuff, ok?
Monkey: Aah, this I can totally connect with.
Tiger: So what decides what way you react?
Monkey: Wait! Wait, I know this one!
Uhm... How many beers you had?
Tiger: Not a bad answer, but what if you're completely sober then?
Monkey: Well, ehm...
Tiger: Experience.
Monkey: Oh...
Tiger: Stuff that happened before that we still remember and maybe learned from.
Monkey: Ah...
Tiger: It's like if a person tells you that your sweater is ugly, you might not listen and think they're totally stupid. But if six people say it, then you might start thinking about putting on another one next time.
Monkey: Well, I'd totally go bare instead then. You've seen my buff body.
Tiger: Eh, yes, buff...
Monkey: Hit me! Right here in the chest! Witness my manly power!
Tiger: So, let's move on shall we?
Monkey: Sissy...
Tiger: Some people can change and turn bad over night, like spaghetti in the fridge. They get all stiff and dry. Others can blossom, like a butterfly.
Monkey: You ARE a sissy... Ooh, look at me, I'm a pretty little butterfly, wee waa woo...
Tiger: Sit down before you get slapped boy...
Monkey: Sorry, your sissyness overwhelmed me for a moment there.
Tiger: Something I've also noticed is that positive change usually comes from our own initiative, negative from pressure or sudden substantial events that affect us. I think that we can all make our own decisions and stick with them. It's just our stubborn nature to do so.
Monkey: Unless we're a mongoloid albino gorilla that eat bananas through a straw and can't even remember to go poo poo...
Tiger: Thank you, I was just getting to that.
Monkey: No problemo el commandante...
Tiger: Right, so my point here was... What the hell was my point again?
Monkey: I don't know, I just hang around to make sure you make a fool of yourself.
Tiger: Right, that does it, I say whatever I want to say because I have some measure of self respect and I can back up any of my statements till the day I perish and the sky comes crashing down if I have to. I'll listen when you've got something constructive to tell me, monkey brains...
Monkey: Ha ha, you can say thanks later... I just pulled your point out of you.
Tiger: Aah, you sweet little thing you... Exactly...
Always stand your ground unless you know you're wrong.
Then get on your knees and admit you've got no idea what to do.
Monkey: That's honesty and righteousness for you right there baby...
Tiger: Bam!
Monday, November 13, 2006
Mondays are always a heartache
Tiger: Good evening Monkey!
Monkey: Hello my dear friend!
Tiger: How are you doing this fine night?
Monkey: Well, I'm just happy I got through the day.
I friggin dislike mondays...
Tiger: Ah, sounds like you got a hit of the old monday blues...
Monkey: Very much so. Weekends just swoosh by and everything slows down as soon as monday comes around.
Tiger: But how was the weekend then?
Monkey: Ooh, it was magical...
Tiger: Oh, how come?
Monkey: All good things in life. Friends, love and beer...
Tiger: Care to go a bit further into detail perhaps mystery monkey?
Monkey: Hey, get off my back already, I'm savoring the moment...
Tiger: Sorry, I'm just curious my furry friend.
Monkey: Ah, what a fine weekend in deed...
Tiger: Damn you! Tell me now!
Monkey: Alright, alright, I'm just teasing.
Tiger: You almost scared my stripes off for a moment there buddy...
Monkey: Always with the analogies huh? Mr fancy stripes...
Tiger: Well, I'm a tiger, I roll with it...
Monkey: Anyways, here it goes...
Tiger: Go!
Monkey: So this friday I met this wonderful lady. I listened to her stories over a fine dinner and some fine wine. It was all just lovely, like one of those fancy books with nice hardcovers. Man, that lady had some overwhelming stories to tell, but it all just went straight to the heart of this old monkey. Like a banana, layer after layer was peeled off, until the juicy fruit was just sitting there, staring straight at me, smiling...
Tiger: Man, that's a kick ass analogy...
Monkey: It was just all so beautiful and honest.
Tiger: So why the monday blues?
Monkey: Well, I miss all that. Nothing special happened today, just ordinary life and all. It's quite okay and fun and all, but not special in any particular way.
Tiger: I see...
Monkey: But it's nice to have some friends to bring some magic back into my life. Like you my dear tiger.
Tiger: Thank you, that's a sweet thing to say.
Monkey: I just hope I can get another injection
of that specialness soon.
Tiger: Amen brother. I could use some juicy fruit too.
Monkey: Damn you monday! You're always a heartache!
Tiger: Think it'll listen?
Monkey: No, but at least it'll know where I stand...
Tiger: True...
Monkey: So, sleepy dreamy time?
Tiger: Uh huh, race you to the bathroom!
Monkey: Not fair! You were sitting on my lap!
Tiger: First one gets to use the toothbrush first!
Monkey: Aaahh, damn it, I get your stinky breath in my mouth again...
Tiger: This is why I'm a tiger and you're just a slow little monkeeyyyy!!
Monkey: Last time ever that I let you sit on me you striped disaster...
Tiger: Until next time everyone!
Monkey: Yeah, just sleep through next monday, trust me, it's what's best for all of us. Good night!
(dedicated to a juicy lady)
Monkey: Hello my dear friend!
Tiger: How are you doing this fine night?
Monkey: Well, I'm just happy I got through the day.
I friggin dislike mondays...
Tiger: Ah, sounds like you got a hit of the old monday blues...
Monkey: Very much so. Weekends just swoosh by and everything slows down as soon as monday comes around.
Tiger: But how was the weekend then?
Monkey: Ooh, it was magical...
Tiger: Oh, how come?
Monkey: All good things in life. Friends, love and beer...
Tiger: Care to go a bit further into detail perhaps mystery monkey?
Monkey: Hey, get off my back already, I'm savoring the moment...
Tiger: Sorry, I'm just curious my furry friend.
Monkey: Ah, what a fine weekend in deed...
Tiger: Damn you! Tell me now!
Monkey: Alright, alright, I'm just teasing.
Tiger: You almost scared my stripes off for a moment there buddy...
Monkey: Always with the analogies huh? Mr fancy stripes...
Tiger: Well, I'm a tiger, I roll with it...
Monkey: Anyways, here it goes...
Tiger: Go!
Monkey: So this friday I met this wonderful lady. I listened to her stories over a fine dinner and some fine wine. It was all just lovely, like one of those fancy books with nice hardcovers. Man, that lady had some overwhelming stories to tell, but it all just went straight to the heart of this old monkey. Like a banana, layer after layer was peeled off, until the juicy fruit was just sitting there, staring straight at me, smiling...
Tiger: Man, that's a kick ass analogy...
Monkey: It was just all so beautiful and honest.
Tiger: So why the monday blues?
Monkey: Well, I miss all that. Nothing special happened today, just ordinary life and all. It's quite okay and fun and all, but not special in any particular way.
Tiger: I see...
Monkey: But it's nice to have some friends to bring some magic back into my life. Like you my dear tiger.
Tiger: Thank you, that's a sweet thing to say.
Monkey: I just hope I can get another injection
of that specialness soon.
Tiger: Amen brother. I could use some juicy fruit too.
Monkey: Damn you monday! You're always a heartache!
Tiger: Think it'll listen?
Monkey: No, but at least it'll know where I stand...
Tiger: True...
Monkey: So, sleepy dreamy time?
Tiger: Uh huh, race you to the bathroom!
Monkey: Not fair! You were sitting on my lap!
Tiger: First one gets to use the toothbrush first!
Monkey: Aaahh, damn it, I get your stinky breath in my mouth again...
Tiger: This is why I'm a tiger and you're just a slow little monkeeyyyy!!
Monkey: Last time ever that I let you sit on me you striped disaster...
Tiger: Until next time everyone!
Monkey: Yeah, just sleep through next monday, trust me, it's what's best for all of us. Good night!
(dedicated to a juicy lady)
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Ugly things, a love affair.
Tiger: Hey Monkey, I love your ugly smile!
Monkey: Thanks baby, I think...
Tiger: Let me explain myself. I really love it.
Like all things close to my heart, it's dear to me.
Monkey: Go on...
Tiger: Once you get past that unattractive surface it's really quite simple.
I think Hannibal Lecter said it best, "What do we desire? Things we see every day".
Monkey: Is this your way of saying you're fed up with me?
All those years of friendship... You're willing to throw it all away because my smile looks like the grill of a Cadillac El'dorado?
Tiger: No, you cute little stupid ape... I said I love it and I mean it.
Monkey: I'm not hearing an "I'm sorry"...
Tiger: Would you stop interrupting me and let me explain already?
Monkey: Whatever...
Tiger: Now, now, turn that frown upside down.
I don't think that love that's only skin deep is ever worth the time that's been wasted on it. Sure, we can all be seduced by that lingering presence of a very attractive woman, very much so. But at some point that just fades away like toilet paper that's been in the water for too long, and all that's left is that awful smell just before you flush... That's when we wish she at least had a really ugly smile.
Monkey: Wow, I had no idea you were so full of crap...
Tiger: Ha ha, I like you. I'm just trying to paint a strong picture so it'll seep into that thick brain of yours. Which I totally love by the way...
Monkey: It's all thanks to beer and toilet paper.
Not that much crap though...
Tiger: I see.
Monkey: Yes.
Tiger: No matter how ugly something is, we will start loving it the second we connect it to ourselves. We all feel a bit of pride looking at the pile of crap we disposed of during the moment before we flush it down the drain, never to see it again. It's who we are, it represents us, it carries our love out into the world.
Monkey: Word...
Tiger: With this my friends, I bid you all goodnight. Until next time, love your crap, it came from your loins...
Monkey: Thanks baby, I think...
Tiger: Let me explain myself. I really love it.
Like all things close to my heart, it's dear to me.
Monkey: Go on...
Tiger: Once you get past that unattractive surface it's really quite simple.
I think Hannibal Lecter said it best, "What do we desire? Things we see every day".
Monkey: Is this your way of saying you're fed up with me?
All those years of friendship... You're willing to throw it all away because my smile looks like the grill of a Cadillac El'dorado?
Tiger: No, you cute little stupid ape... I said I love it and I mean it.
Monkey: I'm not hearing an "I'm sorry"...
Tiger: Would you stop interrupting me and let me explain already?
Monkey: Whatever...
Tiger: Now, now, turn that frown upside down.
I don't think that love that's only skin deep is ever worth the time that's been wasted on it. Sure, we can all be seduced by that lingering presence of a very attractive woman, very much so. But at some point that just fades away like toilet paper that's been in the water for too long, and all that's left is that awful smell just before you flush... That's when we wish she at least had a really ugly smile.
Monkey: Wow, I had no idea you were so full of crap...
Tiger: Ha ha, I like you. I'm just trying to paint a strong picture so it'll seep into that thick brain of yours. Which I totally love by the way...
Monkey: It's all thanks to beer and toilet paper.
Not that much crap though...
Tiger: I see.
Monkey: Yes.
Tiger: No matter how ugly something is, we will start loving it the second we connect it to ourselves. We all feel a bit of pride looking at the pile of crap we disposed of during the moment before we flush it down the drain, never to see it again. It's who we are, it represents us, it carries our love out into the world.
Monkey: Word...
Tiger: With this my friends, I bid you all goodnight. Until next time, love your crap, it came from your loins...
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